The Older I Get

Yeah… Nobody tells you time speeds up. They just let you find out. When I was young, one day took a week Now Monday hits and Friday speaks Blink one time, another year gone Turn around twice, the kids are grown Body hurts from shit I forgot Old injuries waking up on the dot Used to heal up overnight Now one wrong move takes half my life The older I get The faster time flies The harder I fall The longer to rise Every damn morning Something new hurts I’m still alive But the warranty’s burned The older I get The quicker it goes Where it all went Nobody knows My bladder holds half what it held before But takes three times longer to finish the chore Standing there waiting, staring at the wall Thinking, “Is that it?”—then another drop falls Hair on my head said, “Fuck this place” But my nose and ears picked up the pace Nothing grows where I need it to Everything else coming in times two The older I get The faster time flies The harder I fall The longer to rise Every damn morning Something new hurts I’m still alive But the warranty’s burned I snore so loud that I wake myself Thought there was somebody else in the house Eight hours in bed, one hour asleep Wake up exhausted and drag my feet Then gout rolls in like a killer at night Red-hot needle and a toe full of spite Doctor says, “Pete, put the cold beer down” I said, “Doc, that’s the only friend still around” The older I get The faster time flies The harder I fall The longer to rise My knees keep cracking My back stays sore I walk in a room Forget what I came for The older I get The more that I know You can’t stop time So enjoy the damn show Pour me a beer And turn it up loud I’m old, I’m hurting But I’m still around Time flies. Hair leaves. Gout stays. And I’ve gotta piss again.